Star Wars Party: A Farewell to Aidas

Aidas started at this daycare when he was a mere 10 months old. He was our very first daycare member. I have watched this wonderful little baby grow into a busy little toddler, and now a super-hero and Power-Ranger loving little boy. But most of all, he loves Star Wars. Thus, there was no theme more fitting for his good-bye party than a Star Wars Party. 

The first part of the party was Aidas's favourite: The Droid Hunt. The scenario was that there were missing droids that needed to be rescued. I hid two kinds of droids in Leila's room. Four of them were larger droids (made of 2 tin foil cups stuck together). I also hid 12 smaller droids which consisted of plastic Easter eggs wrapped in tin foil. All of the droids contained Star Wars stickers inside.

 Before the kids entered the room, they were each given flashlights and glow in the dark bracelets. They also each carried a little plastic bag with their name on it, to collect the droids they found. I stuck 2 silver car sun visors together and hung them over the doorway to the room to make it look more space-like. I also played Star Wars music from a laptop and since it was part of a video, it distracted them a little, as you can see in the video below.



After we had found them all, we brought them to the living room to count them. Our mission was incomplete. We only had 11 out of the 12 droids. Finally, (after I remembered where I had hidden the other one!) we found the last one. We cheered that we had successfully completed our mission. Oh my goodness. The kids were so cute. They were genuinely very excited and proud of themselves at this point. Pure joy!

Aidas had already noticed earlier that there was something inside them. The kids opened them up to get all of the stickers out. I thought they would be really into the stickers, but Aidas left them on the ground and requested that we go back and look for more droids. I told them that we had already found the droids. He responded with "Can we go fight Darth Vader or something then?" 

Instead, I helped them build a space ship with cushions. We used the flashlights as headlights. Since it was Aidas's good-bye party, he got to be the captain, up front.

I also had lightsabers to award them, since they had completed the important mission of rescuing the droids. I made these (2 at a time) by cutting a pool noodle in half, and then wrapping the bottom in duct tape. I wrote their first initials on each of them. Aidas had the fencing down pat, making the noises to accompany two lightsabers coming together. These lightsabers are the best, since they are foam, and relatively safe!

We headed outside for the official Jedi training. The kids had to hit a foam die off of a platform three times, using their lightsabers. They were all successful! We also trained by seeing how long we could keep a balloon in the air using our lightsabers.

Then we came in for a Jedi lunch. We had breadstick/turkey lightsabers and cucumber/cheddar cheese lightsabers! I know...it's a stretch, but I had to try! Oh, and in the photo beside are the rocket ships (fruit and graham crackers) we had had for morning snack. Again, a stretch, but 3-4 year-olds aren't too critical!

We used a black table cloth to make it look like the night sky, and had sparkly silver stars scattered about. We had shiny party horns too. 

But the best part of lunch was...dessert! My friend Kirsten from Yummy Mummy Cupcakes made these awesome Star Wars cupcakes. http://www.facebook.com/groups/310188892658/

Aidas chose R2D2. They were so delicious! And, although I have read that "the sugar high" is a myth, the video below begs to differ. It's Aidas after lunch (and dessert). True bliss.


Since Aidas had seen some of a star wars video when I was playing the music for the droid hunt, he really wanted to see more. As it was his party, I obliged him, and we watched a couple of clips on the computer (in lieu of a story book) before nap time.

Look at Leila. Just one of the guys!

After naps we made R2D2's. Each of their robot cutouts had shapes penciled in on them. The kids were given foam shapes to put in the right penciled area.

Here was the Bristol Board paper cut-out (with baggie of foam shapes clipped to it).

 And here was the finished product. So cute and so easy!

Afterwards, the R2D2 clones met each other.

I took a few last pictures of this very special daycare group playing together.

And when I saw Aidas being....well, so Aidas, I had to take a couple of last pictures of him at the daycare. He is always carrying a multitude of objects. Together, they seem random, but his creative mind has it all worked out. They are usually tools, or gunners, or other weapons, often the kind that superheroes use. I am really going to miss his ways. We love you Aidas. The rest of the world will too!

#starwarsparty

Boys Play: Rough and Tumble

Since the start of my daycare, boys have always outnumbered the girls. During the early days, the difference in the nature of play between the girls and the boys seemed indistinguishable. However, last summer, this all changed. (All 4 of the boys in the daycare at that time were at least 2 and a half years old.) It seemed to happen so suddenly, with a steep increase in pushing or hitting incidents in a matter of days. I responded to each of these incidents (that I saw, at least), with "time-outs". However, it quickly became clear that to them, the crime was worth the punishment. Either that or they simply couldn't strop themselves. And this was true for each and every one of the boys. Each of them took turns being perpetrators and victims. What confused me most, was that the most recent victim would immediately jump back into the game for more.

Picture the scenario: I see Tom, Henry, Jimmy and Mike happily playing together. Their play gets increasingly boisterous, but still harmless as they walk, one after the other, in a circle, giggling. Jimmy playfully pushes Mike, causing Mike to fall down and hurt his knee. Mike comes running to me, crying, screaming "Jimmy pushed me!" Jimmy promptly gets put in time out, and, once removed, apologizes to Mike for having pushed him. Mike accepts his apology and moments later, everyone is having a good time. Then the incident repeats itself, but this time with a different child becoming too rough, and/or a different child being hurt.

Sounds like great fun, doesn't it? Yeah, I don't think so either. Yet the boys favoured this kind of play again and again. Let's be clear that I am talking about a something entirely different than aggression acted out in the heat of anger, intended to harm another. We still had those incidents, now and then. But this new behaviour I was seeing was in the spirit of play. There was no bully, nor victim, since they were all willing participants. And it was impossible to deter them from this play. The popularity of this new craze continued to grow. It was like a genie had been let out of a bottle. It was clear that disciplining this behaviour was doing nothing to decrease it.

I searched the internet for help, expecting to find more stringent disciplinary measures. Boy, was I enlightened! Although there is relatively little research on the subject, the value, yes, the value of rough and tumble play is starting to gain recognition.


DEFINITION:

First of all, let's define "Rough and Tumble Play." Some experts define is as "Children who display acts involving running, climbing, chasing, play fighting, fleeing, wrestling, falling, and open- handed slaps" (Pellegrini & Smith, 1998; Reed & Brown, 2000) A larger list of examples of behaviours one might exhibit in rough and tumble play can be found at the following website, http://reach.uvic.ca/documents/MTannockREACH2010PowerPoint.pdf,  page 31). It can involve hitting, pushing or pulling, and thus it has some overlap with aggressive behaviours. However, unlike aggression, rough and tumble has a different feeling about it. As I stated above, it is undertaken in the spirit of play, observable in the child's body language, which will likely include "Display of the cheerful play face" (Reed & Brown). http://reach.uvic.ca/documents/MTannockREACH2010PowerPoint.pdf


BENEFITS:

• "Rough and tumble play has considerable merit in a young child’s overall development (Pellegrini, 1987; Pellegrini & Smith, 1998; Pellis & Pellis, 2007)." This type of play teaches children how to read the social cues in others'. They are able to understand when others intend to play, and when they intend to harm. Consequently, they also learn how to exhibit the behaviour that matches their intentions.  http://www.ccie.com/library/5018870.pdf
• The same article states that this type of play allows children the chance to play different roles, and that this helps them learn turn-taking in social interactions and conversations.
• "Rough-and-tumble play holds value for young children in relation to their physical, social, and educational development. The physical benefits of energy release, exercise, and practice of motor skills might seem obvious..."  http://www.ecebc.ca/resources/journal/2008spring/03.html
• Children are learning about self-control, compassion when caring for another player, boundaries of what is acceptable in the play, limits to play, how to adapt their play to the abilities of others, and how to make judgments of their abilities in relation to other players.   http://www.ecebc.ca/resources/journal/2008spring/03.html
• Educationally, rough-and-tumble play holds value as children experiment and take risks, practice skills, build self-confidence and self-esteem, improve their communication skills, and develop their ability to regulate their attention and persistence.  http://www.ecebc.ca/resources/journal/2008spring/03.html
• Rough and tumble play may be one of the few socially acceptable ways for males to
  “Express care and intimacy for another male”
  http://reach.uvic.ca/documents/MTannockREACH2010PowerPoint.pdf

A LACK OF ROUGH AND TUMBLE HAS CONSEQUENCES: 

• "According to research from the National Institute for Play, lack of experience with rough and tumble play hampers an important part of social intelligence – the give and take between people, which is necessary for us to operate successfully in the world. http://www.galileonetwork.ca/earlylearning/?q=content/why-rough-and-tumble-play-important
• Rats deprived of rough and tumble play show deficits, "the core of which involve an inability to attenuate their emotional reaction to novel or frightening situations, and this is associated with social deficits."  http://www.child-encyclopedia.com/documents/PellisANGxp1.pdf
• "In monkeys and apes, the lack of opportunity to engage in RTP" (rough and tumble play) "with peers leads to a reduced capacity for emotional self-regulation and impoverished social skills."  http://www.child-encyclopedia.com/documents/PellisANGxp1.pdf
• "Children that engage in more RTP" (Rough and Tumble Play) "tend to be better liked by peers, over consecutive years exhibit better social skills, and, overall, perform more effectively in the school setting with regard to academic performance."  http://www.childencyclopedia.com/documents/PellisANGxp1.pdf 
• The article from which the above three points were found goes so far as to say that a child's engagement in rough and tumble play is an important factor in preventing chronic aggression later on in life.
• This is not the only source that made this claim. "For boys especially, rough-and-tumble play in early childhood provides a scaffold for learning emotion-regulation skills related to managing anger and aggression."  http://www.journalofplay.org/issues/213/217-evolutionary-functions-social-play

REMOVING THE BARRIERS:

Considering the above information, are we doing enough to promote or at least allow this kind of play? Probably not. Part of this is due to ignorance. I, for one, had no knowledge of this research. And, having grown up with only one sister, this type of play is not intuitive to me. Sure, maybe I engaged in some rough and tumble play as a kid, but not nearly as much as I'm seeing from these boys. I was not aware of the extent to which many boys (and some girls) gravitate to this kind of play. I surely would never have guessed that there were social, physical and emotional benefits involved. Perhaps ECE programs contain this information, but isn't this something every parent should know? 

Okay, so now I am informed on the subject. My ignorance is gone.

Which brings me to the second barrier to this kind of play: monitoring the interactions to ensure the children's safety. This is a very tricky task, especially for the faint of heart (and here I am speaking from personal experience!) Sometimes it can feel as if you are allowing the children to injure each other, since inevitably, there will be times things go awry. Here are my recommendations for the safest (though not fault-free) way to facilitate this type of play:

1. Monitor the group closely. Especially when children are just beginning to engage in this type of play, be there to guide them. New groups of children (which will have different group dynamics) also require close supervision. 
2. Degree of Force It is difficult to monitor because they should be allowed to push and pull, for example, but not so hard that they are hurting another. It is not black and white. It is a matter of degree. You can be there to tell them when they are pushing too hard, and yes, sometimes it will be too late. They are learning.
3. Play must be Consensual Kids should be taught to ask their friends if they'd like to play rough and tumble. They need to know that if their friend is not happy with what is happening, they need to stop. The friend who is 'not happy' should also be required to say aloud "I don't want to play rough and tumble". This not only informs the other children of their desire, but also informs the caregiver, who can make sure the others do not try to engage this child in the game.
4. State any other Safety Rules For instance, I tell the children there is no rough and tumble play allowed on the couch (for obvious reasons). Similarly, there is no rough and tumble allowed in the kitchen, around the baby, etc. There are also times when I just feel uneasy with the play. I guess it's intuition that they aren't in the right frame of mind, or are too tired (or perhaps it is me who is too tired, or not up to supervising it). In these instances I just tell the children there is no rough and tumble play "right now". (FYI - The kids are playing with spongy pool noodles in the photo above. I wouldn't let them play R & T with hard sticks!)
5. Deal Appropriately with Rule Breaking Even when children don't intend to use too much force, it is still important to give them a time out so that they can recognize their mistake in their play. We need to flag that behaviour for them, so they can realize "I guess I pushed Jimmy too hard". Children wanting to engage in this kind of play learn quickly (for the most part) to abide by the rules, because if they don't, the supervisor will end the game, and that's no fun!

I hope this information is as enlightening to some of you out there as it was for me! Play on, kids! 

#roughandtumble #roughandtumbleplay #roughhousing

Childhood Changes

Here are some cute photos taken before we headed outside one day. I didn't even ask them to pose, so when they all lined up beside the baby, I had to take advantage of it! And why take one photo when you can take 3 or 4?

They are still into climbing on anything I'll let them. Recently, with the arrival of the 2012 Summer Olympics, I have been commentating  on these team "balance beam walks". Noah, always the showman, doesn't give me a moment's rest, and prompts me to continue talking, by informing me "The Olympics are still on, mommy".

And here are the astronauts ready for take-off. There was quite the uproar when Aidas had seized the one and only laundry hamper lid as his helmet. Peace was restored once the kids realized they could use the pretend grocery bins as helmets. I thought this scene was unbelievably cute! (The take-off, not the uproar.)

We helped Sammy celebrate his 3rd birthday on July 30th. Even though he is quite a bit younger than the other boys, he has fit in so well with the group. It's hard to believe he will only be here for a couple more weeks. We like having him around!

Speaking of kids leaving...Aidas will be leaving the daycare as of September. His mother and I are both in denial, but alas, it's true; it's the end of the "Aidas Era" in the daycare.  He was the very first child to attend the daycare, and is practically family now! I am very happy that, unlike Maya and Lucas, he is not leaving the country. He will still be in the neighbourhood and we will absolutely organize many play dates! Also, I'm excited for Aidas to have a bit of change. I think his teachers and classmates, as well as those at his new daycare, will adore him.

Until the end of the summer, I'm going to enjoy this special little group I have. These are really precious times.

Summer Splashing

We were on our way to Lithuania Park one day, when Noah noticed the sprinklers were on in front of the building across the street. He begged to run through them, and I caved, even though the kids were all in their clothes and we didn't have swimsuits with us. Living in an apartment building means we have to rely on others for the "sprinkler experience", so we have to take it wherever and whenever we can get it!

Before long, however, the building's landlady kicked us off the property, in a very polite manner. She was worried about liability issues (perhaps she had just witnessed Aidas take a spill in the mud, from inside).

The next day the sprinkler was on behind our building. Nobody stopped this party, and the kids delighted in the sprinkler until they had had enough. I had to shake my head though, watching them. It wasn't enough for them to simply run through the sprinklers. No. The game somehow evolved into catapulting toys into the air, using the pressure of the sprinkler water.

Leila and I hung back, of course, watching the show. We were soon joined by Sammy, who quit the sprinklers after a few runs. Sammy has joined our daycare, temporarily, for the months of July and August. He is a delightful almost 3-year-old who adores trains and music.

The wading pools are finally open, and the kids are so excited about this! The water starts out frigid, but with the extremely warm daily temperatures, it warms up quickly. I was even able to dip Leila's feet in to cool her down.

We always bring a picnic when we go to the wading pool. When they periodically close the pool to add more chlorine, we sit on the towels and blankets and eat our lunch, until the pool is ready again.

You can clearly see Sammy hanging out with Leila here, but if you look in the background, you'll also notice B. running down the hill. He and Aidas were busy watering the tree on the hill with the water from the wading pool. It was was a task that kept them busy for quite some time!

It is very hard to drag them away from all this fun. One day we stayed so long we had to skip naps. The kids weren't too broken up about that. I now buy Popsicles to lure them back home!

And back to the sprinklers! The kids yet again got to run through the sprinklers behind our building. Noah and B. particularly enjoy running through the frigid water, and getting soaked.

It would be nice to actually plan for this and have them in their bathing suits, but alas, I never know when they are going to be on, or for how long.

Aidas repeatedly claimed that he lost his "friend" in this puddle, but I never did figure out what he meant by this. Was it a bug? A piece of chalk? A stick? He wouldn't elaborate. What a great sense of creativity this child has!